Road Warrior Momma: Day 30

Day 30 – June 27, 2012

Madison, WI

A month, a whole freakin month! I feel it today….all thirty days. I think the kids do to. We’ve hit a wall. We are completely and totally on each other’s nerves! That and it’s very, very hot! 95 today.

We went to the breakfast buffet, as we’ve done most mornings of the road trip…this should be old hat by now. But they act like cows at a stampede. They storm the buffet like they’ve never seen food before and God help the other guests in their way.

Barrett has his routine. He does the Safety Dance, in front of the juice dispenser, jumping with glee as he lets the juice fill up to the rim of his glass…and then, he squeaks like a mouse if he stops it, before it spills over. Then he walks, on his tippy toes, gingerly, with the too-full glass out in front of him, as far as it can go. Next, he sets it on the table, ever so carefully, then does his happy dance (not to be confused with the safety dance) and claps, and then, after he’s sat at the table, he inevitably spills it, while he takes the first sip. Every time.

They fight over who gets the first waffle, they fight over which table we’ll sit, they fight over who sits next to Camden, they fight over which hotel had the best scrambled eggs…

I’m tired today and no good explanations as to why. I slept really well and yesterday was a relatively easy day. I was excited to be in Madison, because I’ve always read really nice things about the city. But I think I’m a little burnt out. Also not helping, is the audio book I’m listening too, by Anne Rivers Siddons. I like my fiction light and there’s a good reason for it…the sad stuff really messes me up. So far, the childhood best friend, the mother, and the loyal dog have all died. Are you kidding me? Where’s 50 Shades of Grey when you need it?

Yes, road warrior momma is ready to come home. This DOES NOT mean I am going to tuck may tail and retreat, I am nothing if not tenacious….so I will soldier on, to the bitter end…it’s just that today, home sounds like the best place on Earth. Everyone tucked into their own bed (ROOMS). I need space. I need Rich.

Enough self-pity.

We went to the city’s number one “Thing to Do”, according to Trip Advisor…the Olbrich Botanical Gardens. Very pretty, but unless you’re a botanist, won’t blow your skirt up. We went to the State Capitol….kind of starting to feel like, you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all…!

Parked the car at a garage that charges $0.75 cents an hour! It was like winning the lottery (after $31 for four hours in Chicago). We walked along State Street, which connects the Capitol to the University of Wisconsin. Lots of funky shops, and an endless stream of foreign restaurants: Turkish, Persian, Cambodian, Middle Eastern, Greek, Asian, Indian….not a cheeseburger or grilled cheese in sight. We’re in Wisconsin, for cryin’ out loud! I gave up and fed them ice cream for lunch. I literally had no more energy to fight about it….they were never going to agree. This should have bought me some good will…it. did. not.

We headed back to the car, I was going to surprise them with an unplanned trip to the zoo, when we saw a bookstore. I wanted to go in (I like supporting Independent Booksellers!) and everyone readily agreed. They had a kids section, so I let them go off, while I browsed. This should really clarify my mood for the day….I did not buy a book…didn’t feel like it. Didn’t even write down a title, to add to my list…nada. I went to gather the troops…

I told them it was time to go and they needed to clean up (they’d done a number). Well Cammy lost it. He started crying hysterically…big fat tears, hyperventilating. “Cammy, what’s wrong?” “Audrey didn’t let me play, she made me play school!” More tears, threw himself on the ground. Audrey screams, “I DID NOT! Hunter told him he had to play (school) with me.” Hunter’s head jerks up from a book, and says loudly & emphatically, “What the crap AUDREY! I did not!” Then Barrett says, “What the Crap!” Audrey swears that he did & everyone hates her. Hunter says she’s a liar. Camden continues to cry and points a finger at Audrey. Then….get ready for it…Barrett, loudly and longly (not a word, I know, but the only way to describe it) yells, “Cccccccrrrrrrryyyyyyyaaaayyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggg!”

Stick a fork in us. Needless to say, no trip to the zoo.

It gets better. Back at the garage….I lose my ticket. What would have cost me $1.50, cost me $25.00. No shit. The damn broke. I’m embarrassed to tell you, I started crying. The poor attendant. She offered to help me go back and look for it, asking me a million questions about where I could have put it…gave me all kinds of forms to fill out and mail in to get a refund. I gave her my credit card and just said, “No thanks.

We stopped at Target, to replace Camden’s stink bombs, then back to the hotel. I let the kids swim and not sure what’s next.

Y’all probably think I’m crazy…but lasting 30 days before my breakdown, wasn’t bad. I’m confident that we’ll all be better tomorrow. As Scarlet said…”Tomorrow is another day!”